A Pure Mind

 I have passed the weeks that were full of distress. I questioned the decision of ALLAH who placed someone in a good position while I thought he is not capable at all of handling the job. Now I find out that my opinion is wrong. That’s not my privilege to judge people though I know they are stupid or dishonest. I am also a weak creature, aren’t I? So I should be ashamed of judging people as being incapable or improper person for that position.

Today I was blessed with a pure mind. After meeting several freshly appointed Kadis-es (The Head of Offices in Jambi Province) last Friday, I can see them with different eyes. They are actually not stupid at all, at least they are successful in negotiating their wish (to be a Kadis); they do not easily give up in getting their current positions. They are also very amiable and communicative to anyone they meet.

Frankly I cannot follow their ways. I can’t keep my tongue not to criticize someone that I think incorrect. I will not fight for a position though I want it very much. I also will not smile to people who I know talked about me behind my back.

As a Muslim who keeps the commitment to carry out the Islamic principles, I am seriously in spiritual/moral damage. I have to shut up my mouth and wash as well as clean up my heart. It is a detriment for me if I still reveal the shames of my colleagues. Allah will get angry. My spirit to work well will be up. I will end up in nothing.

I should be grateful that Allah still provides a feast for me; eating at least twice in a day, books in every corner of my house, and a notebook that is always with me. I am healthy and able to gather with my husband, sons and sister. My colleagues never underestimate my brain and my effectiveness in working. Indeed I am not a very rich lady, but I have learnt that the fortune is not everything. I should be happy with my achievement.

Thank God for YOUR guidance. I am lucky; the wish to balance my life and to search the best way to calm myself have come to this pure mind. That spirit has brought me to this awareness.

 Perhaps I have made some friends upset with my restlessness. I polluted their hearts, pushed them into hopeless and negative thought about our colleagues. My presence should be a grace for my surrounding, not a torment. What will I be later on if all my kindness is confiscated by the people because I ever talked bad things about them?

I have to stop this bad attitude. Not for them, but it’s for my own sake. I fight to get HIS promise of a Husnul Khatimah. I will not let that hope go.